How do you know you have found yourself? When you are able to help others find themselves. Finding yourself is not easy. If you have never felt connected to who you are, and you want to find whatever makes you you, being yourself will be hard. The first step is always the hardest, but after that hill, you will be smooth sailing to discovering who you are.
- Create your own life's life timeline
- Prepare to recommence with a clean slate
- Let go of the need to be loved by all and accept that some people still think you stink.
- Learn to rely on yourself.
- Sort out your career path.
- Immerse yourself in solitude.
- Ask yourself every question in the book.
- Keep a written record of your answers to the series of questions in the former step.
- Act upon your newly discovered knowledge
- Be ready for dead ends.
- Serve others. Mahatma Gandhi once said that "the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others".
- You're never as bad or as good as people say.
- Resist the urge to feel like you're the only one going through this. In Invisible Man, Ralph Ellison once summed this up well: All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naive. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself.
- Although it's a cliche, the term Be yourself really does count when it comes to finding yourself. Make sure no one influences who you are; by all means listen to others and learn from them but let the final choices, decisions, and acceptances be your own. If you simply capitulate to what others think, it will make finding yourself even harder since people are influencing who you think you are.
- Don't be afraid to sleep on it. There's no hurry in making decisions, and you'll be more likely to make good ones if your mind is calm and rested.
- Be forgiving and learn to let go.